Joint family system in Pukhtoon society on verge of extinction

[LRE]

Joint family system in Pukhtoon society on verge of extinction



Associated Press of Pakistan

PESHAWAR: A great majority of the new generation and pukhtoon families will mostly educated prefers single family system as against the large families maintained by their forefathers as they believe that with the fast pace of life and the growing engagements, the joint system is no longer comfortable.

The educated Pukhtoon families as well as the uneducated ones in the urban areas both have a natural tilt towards a single-family system as compared to the joint family and both idealize and carve for separate life. Due to increasing urbanization the centuries old traditions and combined family system, which was a unique distinction of the Pukhtoon belt, have suffered greatly that has resulted in the collapse of the whole fabric of the society so beautifully knitted and interwoven due to relations.

The other factor that gave rise to nuclear families was price-hike making it impossible to maintain large families and instead the Pukhtoon families have also started to plan their families according to their income, which was earlier considered to be an un-Islamic by their ancestors.

The monitory concerns and better job opportunities forced men and women to move out of their family home and away from the parents. In this case, often the parents who remained emotionally attached to the place where they spent most of their life preferred to continue staying in their family home and accepted with some sadness their children starting out new life away from them.

Does that imply that Pukhtoons are moving towards westernized cultures where the concept of joint family system does not exist and where relations don't matter like it does in this part of the region. The answer could be unfortunately in affirmation.

Talking to APP Chairperson Psychology Department Peshawar University, Dr. Rahat Sajjad said that both systems of families have merits and demerits and the younger generation support nuclear family system, as they believe that children were affected and spoiled due to interference from senior family members. The nuclear family gave immense freedom from the traditions and ways of life that the old system was ridden with. Hence whenever and wherever the parents and the adult children could not get along well and when the adult children could afford to build a house to call their own, nuclear families began to be formed, she added.

"As far as my personal opinion is concerned I support joint families in view of its benefits", she opined. However, she hastened on to add that a time comes when the system do not work as five to six families can not live under one roof and ultimately a family has to move to a separate life style.

Dr. Rahat maintained that nuclear family system should not isolate us from our roots and relationship with other family members should remain intact. She said that human beings were born with many complex psychological problems and they tend to feel jealous, have ego and other problems and in large families one person imposes his or her will which clashes with the other person, thus encouraging single families.

Moreover, she added that the unit of family revolves around female and unless she could manage a balanced relationship with all the family members, the joint family system could not survive.

One of the things that disintegrated the old joint family system was the constant interference and meddling by elders in the matters of youngsters. It is important to give one another space and respect the boundaries of each other as living under one roof does not have to be about transgressing the personal space of the members, she opined.

Dr. Sumaya, Lecturer in Psychology Department, said that the society was becoming westernized and the old values have changed. She opined that the younger generation has become more self-centered and don't like interference in their life anymore and want to make independent decisions". Moreover, she added that media has also played a role in it and encouraged independent lifestyle even in the Pukhtoon families. Fouzia Wazir, a representative of young generation and a house wife, told this scribe that the generation that broke out of the old joint family system did so when individualistic thinking began to gain predominance in the society.

As it happens with most changes in the society, initially the people from the old system did not take this change very well and were saddened to see the disintegration of family values and system and emergence of individualistic nuclear families, she added.


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